Social Justice Warriors get a lot of flak out there. Many people see the “Social Justice Warrior” as a product of liberal-arts-school-brainwashing. You name it, I’ve heard it. Not just from older individuals, but even peers who don’t identify with what ‘social justice warriors’ typically identify with politically. As an activist, both in the government and non-profit sectors, I’m on the receiving end of a lot of this. People diminish the work you do, usually with hostility in my experience, because they don’t understand it or because they don’t want to. This post isn’t for them. This post is for all my sisters and brothers out there fighting for equality and justice and social/political reform.
Recent times have been trying, to say the least. The last two years have felt like Groundhog Day in a torture chamber. [This is not a post about Trump. Frankly, I cannot possibly summon the amount of emotional stamina to post about him right now.] This is a post for all those people with boots on the ground, who are part of grassroots activism, who volunteer, who attend rallies and marches and other forms of nonviolent protests, who strive to make a difference within your own circle. This is for all my social justice warriors out there who do so much work, who give so much of themselves every day, and never get any acknowledgement.
Here’s the thing. The last two weeks have been very difficult, for many of us. Most of the women I know, and including myself, have experience with sexual harassment and sexual assault. This issue is extremely close to home. As activists, we utilize our experiences and the experiences of those around us as fuel to power ourselves, our machines. Our experiences are like coal, burning in our hearts, boiling in our guts, producing steam that runs through our bloodstreams to power our generator and create energy. Being an activists requires accessing and using our emotional experiences on a daily basis, which can be an extremely daunting task, especially during these times of heightened duress.
And the past couple weeks have been just that. Heinous. In my speaking out in support of Dr. Ford and against Judge Kavanaugh, I have been on the receiving end of much vitriol and virulence. As an outspoken activist, this is a burden, an awful side effect, of what I do. Knowing this, and willingly taking it on, does not make it any easier. At the start of all this, I was full of righteous indignation at the mistreatment of Dr. Ford. But wave after wave of disgusting comments, news segments, and social media posts...my fire was beginning to burn out. This issue is so close to home, that it felt as if everything that being said to/towards/about Dr. Ford was also being said about me, also being said about women that I know and love.
This experience was extremely damaging. Again, as an activist, I am used to these feelings of sadness, disheartenment, of seeing inequality and injustice, and experiencing immense sympathy and empathy; I am used to channeling these feelings into action, into fire and steam and energy. But this time was different. This time was reminiscent of November 8th, 2016. This time felt like a new rock bottom, even though we thought we were already there.
My sadness and anger at the injustice and mistreatment of a victim of sexual assault morphed; I began feeling depressed. I began to feel resentful of the people that I know, who’d expressed beliefs and thoughts about this situation that I didn’t agree with. I began to feel hopeless. That’s a word I do not use frequently. Disheartened, baffled, appalled, angry, outraged, definitely. But hopeless…hopeless is not a word I use on the reg, nor do I use it lightly. Hopeless resembles parts of my life when I dealt with depression, when I dealt with life-altering experiences and the darkness of being sucked into a metaphorical black hole.
And after seeing the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA MOCK A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE [thousands of which laughed and cheered in the background] MADE ME FEEL HOPELESS. It also made me feel so disgusted at humanity that I couldn’t eat. I was nauseous. I was beyond hurt- I was obliterated.
The past couple days I have felt nothing but hopeless.
As a person who deals with anxiety on a daily basis, I could feel my anxiety pumping at a higher frequency. My hands were shaking for days on end. My chest felt fluttery, my blood like a live-wire under my skin. I was so anxious, and so depressed, and so utterly heartbroken, that I just powered off. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. For three nights in a row, after work I just went home and did nothing, because I couldn’t do anything. I felt hollow. I couldn’t stop feeling like at any moment I would implode. The feeling and level of anxiety that I normally felt right before a panic attack was constant. I couldn’t sleep. Those of you with anxiety or sleeping disorders know that feeling well. I went to work, at a job that I love and at which I feel fulfilled every day, and felt like crying the whole time. And I did at times. I cried in private moments of despair and grief, for not just past experiences, and just for what Dr. Ford was going through, but for what all survivors have gone through, for the world that we live in, and knowledge of the world we could live in.
I watched Tina Fey’s “sheetcaking” sketch on SNL’s Weekend Update many times. I read posts of others feeling the same way, I talked with friends and coworkers feeling the same things, but still felt empty inside. On an off-chance, a random thought that occurred to me in a deep hour of despair last night, I tweeted one of my favorite activists, Sophia Bush, and asked her what she does as an activist to stay positive and keep fighting. I know she must get a lot of tweets, so I didn’t expect anything in return. Maybe another social justice warrior, another activist would see it and respond with their tips and tricks to staying in the game when you feel like you have nothing left to give. To my utter surprise/relief/joy, she responded this morning. What she said was this:
It was such a good reminder for me, it something I definitely needed to hear. TAKE A DAY OFF. In my past studies in psychology, they used the old adage “you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Self-care is so important, and it’s vital to understand what self-care your body and soul needs, because none of us are the same!
Dr. Barbara Markway states, in an article titled “Seven Types of Self-Care Activities for Coping with Stress,” that “when we’re stressed, self-care is often the first thing to go. Why is this?
1. Our brains go into fight-or-flight mode and our perspective narrows. We don’t see we have options—options for coping with stress and making ourselves feel better.
2. We’re so busy trying to solve problems that we’re stuck in “doing mode”—trying to get more and more done—when switching to “being mode” may be just the break we need.
3. We may not have a “go to” list of self-care activities. Self-care has to become a habit, so that when we’re dealing with stress, we remember that, “Hey, I need to take care of myself in this situation.” And, you need a variety of activities to try—if one doesn’t work, you can switch to another.
Fortunately, there are several pathways to self-care, and none of them need be difficult or take a lot of planning:
SENSORY
When you feel stressed and need a calm mind, try focusing on the sensations around you—sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touch… This will help you focus on the present moment, giving you a break from your worries.
Breathe in fresh air.
Snuggle under a cozy blanket.
Listen to running water.
Sit outdoors by a fire-pit, watching the flames and listening to the night sounds.
Take a hot shower or a warm bath.
Get a massage.
Cuddle with a pet.
Pay attention to your breathing.
Burn a scented candle.
Wiggle your bare feet in overgrown grass.
Stare up at the sky.
Lie down where the afternoon sun streams in a window.
Listen to music.
PLEASURE
A great way to take care of yourself when you’re coping with stress is to engage in a pleasurable activity. Try one of these ideas.
Take yourself out to eat.
Be a tourist in your own city.
Garden.
Watch a movie.
Make art. Do a craft project.
Journal.
Walk your dogs.
Go for a photo walk.
MENTAL/MASTERY
You can also give yourself a boost by doing a task that you’ve been avoiding or challenging your brain in a novel way.
Clean out a junk drawer or a closet.
Take action (one small step) on something you’ve been avoiding.
Try a new activity.
Drive to a new place.
Make a list.
Immerse yourself in a crossword puzzle.
Do a word search.
Read something on a topic you wouldn’t normally.
SPIRITUAL
Getting in touch with your values—what really matters—is a sure way to cope with stress and foster a calm mind. Activities that people define as spiritual are very personal. Here are a few ideas:
Attend church.
Read poetry or inspiring quotes.
Light a candle.
Meditate.
Write in a journal.
Spend time in nature.
Pray.
List five things you’re grateful for.
EMOTIONAL
Dealing with our emotions can be challenging when we’re coping with stress. We tend to label emotions as “good” or “bad,” but this isn’t helpful. Instead:
Accept your feelings. They’re all ok. Really.
Write your feelings down. Here’s a list of feeling words.
Cry when you need to.
Laugh when you can. (Try laughter yoga.)
Practice self-compassion.
PHYSICAL
Coping with stress by engaging the body is great because you can bypass a lot of unhelpful mental chatter. It’s hard to feel stressed when you’re doing one of these self-care activites:
Try yoga.
Go for a walk or a run.
Dance.
Stretch.
Go for a bike ride.
Don’t skip sleep to get things done.
Take a nap.
SOCIAL
Connecting with others is an important part of self-care. This can mean activities such as:
Go on a lunch date with a good friend.
Calling a friend on the phone.
Participating in a book club.
Joining a support group.
It can also mean remembering that others go through similar experiences and difficulties as we do. We’re not alone. Simply acknowledging that we’re all part of this human experience can lessen isolation and lead to a calm mind. That’s the best self-care strategy I know.”
So please, take of yourselves! I’m working on taking care of myself too! And making self-care a true part of my daily routine!
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
-Eleanor Brown
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201403/seven-types-self-care-activities-coping-stress
As a person who deals with anxiety on a daily basis, I could feel my anxiety pumping at a higher frequency. My hands were shaking for days on end. My chest felt fluttery, my blood like a live-wire under my skin. I was so anxious, and so depressed, and so utterly heartbroken, that I just powered off. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. For three nights in a row, after work I just went home and did nothing, because I couldn’t do anything. I felt hollow. I couldn’t stop feeling like at any moment I would implode. The feeling and level of anxiety that I normally felt right before a panic attack was constant. I couldn’t sleep. Those of you with anxiety or sleeping disorders know that feeling well. I went to work, at a job that I love and at which I feel fulfilled every day, and felt like crying the whole time. And I did at times. I cried in private moments of despair and grief, for not just past experiences, and just for what Dr. Ford was going through, but for what all survivors have gone through, for the world that we live in, and knowledge of the world we could live in.
I watched Tina Fey’s “sheetcaking” sketch on SNL’s Weekend Update many times. I read posts of others feeling the same way, I talked with friends and coworkers feeling the same things, but still felt empty inside. On an off-chance, a random thought that occurred to me in a deep hour of despair last night, I tweeted one of my favorite activists, Sophia Bush, and asked her what she does as an activist to stay positive and keep fighting. I know she must get a lot of tweets, so I didn’t expect anything in return. Maybe another social justice warrior, another activist would see it and respond with their tips and tricks to staying in the game when you feel like you have nothing left to give. To my utter surprise/relief/joy, she responded this morning. What she said was this:
It was such a good reminder for me, it something I definitely needed to hear. TAKE A DAY OFF. In my past studies in psychology, they used the old adage “you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Self-care is so important, and it’s vital to understand what self-care your body and soul needs, because none of us are the same!
Dr. Barbara Markway states, in an article titled “Seven Types of Self-Care Activities for Coping with Stress,” that “when we’re stressed, self-care is often the first thing to go. Why is this?
1. Our brains go into fight-or-flight mode and our perspective narrows. We don’t see we have options—options for coping with stress and making ourselves feel better.
2. We’re so busy trying to solve problems that we’re stuck in “doing mode”—trying to get more and more done—when switching to “being mode” may be just the break we need.
3. We may not have a “go to” list of self-care activities. Self-care has to become a habit, so that when we’re dealing with stress, we remember that, “Hey, I need to take care of myself in this situation.” And, you need a variety of activities to try—if one doesn’t work, you can switch to another.
Fortunately, there are several pathways to self-care, and none of them need be difficult or take a lot of planning:
SENSORY
When you feel stressed and need a calm mind, try focusing on the sensations around you—sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touch… This will help you focus on the present moment, giving you a break from your worries.
Breathe in fresh air.
Snuggle under a cozy blanket.
Listen to running water.
Sit outdoors by a fire-pit, watching the flames and listening to the night sounds.
Take a hot shower or a warm bath.
Get a massage.
Cuddle with a pet.
Pay attention to your breathing.
Burn a scented candle.
Wiggle your bare feet in overgrown grass.
Stare up at the sky.
Lie down where the afternoon sun streams in a window.
Listen to music.
PLEASURE
A great way to take care of yourself when you’re coping with stress is to engage in a pleasurable activity. Try one of these ideas.
Take yourself out to eat.
Be a tourist in your own city.
Garden.
Watch a movie.
Make art. Do a craft project.
Journal.
Walk your dogs.
Go for a photo walk.
MENTAL/MASTERY
You can also give yourself a boost by doing a task that you’ve been avoiding or challenging your brain in a novel way.
Clean out a junk drawer or a closet.
Take action (one small step) on something you’ve been avoiding.
Try a new activity.
Drive to a new place.
Make a list.
Immerse yourself in a crossword puzzle.
Do a word search.
Read something on a topic you wouldn’t normally.
SPIRITUAL
Getting in touch with your values—what really matters—is a sure way to cope with stress and foster a calm mind. Activities that people define as spiritual are very personal. Here are a few ideas:
Attend church.
Read poetry or inspiring quotes.
Light a candle.
Meditate.
Write in a journal.
Spend time in nature.
Pray.
List five things you’re grateful for.
EMOTIONAL
Dealing with our emotions can be challenging when we’re coping with stress. We tend to label emotions as “good” or “bad,” but this isn’t helpful. Instead:
Accept your feelings. They’re all ok. Really.
Write your feelings down. Here’s a list of feeling words.
Cry when you need to.
Laugh when you can. (Try laughter yoga.)
Practice self-compassion.
PHYSICAL
Coping with stress by engaging the body is great because you can bypass a lot of unhelpful mental chatter. It’s hard to feel stressed when you’re doing one of these self-care activites:
Try yoga.
Go for a walk or a run.
Dance.
Stretch.
Go for a bike ride.
Don’t skip sleep to get things done.
Take a nap.
SOCIAL
Connecting with others is an important part of self-care. This can mean activities such as:
Go on a lunch date with a good friend.
Calling a friend on the phone.
Participating in a book club.
Joining a support group.
It can also mean remembering that others go through similar experiences and difficulties as we do. We’re not alone. Simply acknowledging that we’re all part of this human experience can lessen isolation and lead to a calm mind. That’s the best self-care strategy I know.”
So please, take of yourselves! I’m working on taking care of myself too! And making self-care a true part of my daily routine!
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
-Eleanor Brown
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201403/seven-types-self-care-activities-coping-stress
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