The famous phrase “the pen is mightier than the sword” was written by British playwright and novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839, in his play Cardinal Richelieu. In this play, “Richelieu, chief minister to King Louis XIII, discovers a plot to kill him, but as a priest he is unable to take up arms against his enemies. His page, Francois, points out: But now, at your command are other weapons, my good Lord. Richelieu agrees: The pen is mightier than the sword... Take away the sword; States can be saved without it!” The phrase made an instant impact on the world, and by the 1840’s it was a commonplace saying. This phrase, which emphasizes that "thinking and writing have more influence on people and events than the use of force or violence", has always struck a chord with me.
This idea was not necessarily a new one; before Bulwer-Lytton’s 1839 play, this idea had flourished for centuries. Susan Ratcliffe, associate editor of the Oxford Quotations Dictionaries, states that “Robert Burton, in The Anatomy of Melancholy, published in the early 17th Century, describes how bitter jests and satire can cause distress - and he suggests that "A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword"… A similar phrase appears in George Whetstone's Heptameron of Civil Discourses, published in 1582, states ‘the dash of a pen is more grievous than the counter use of a lance’.”
This idea continues to resonate with people, that the written word can be mightier than physical force or military power. As someone who works in legislation, both in the public sector and the non-profit sector, this is an extremely important concept to my personal ideology. I am not naive; I know that there are times when physical force or military action are needed. However, I do think that both of these instances can and should be occurring less often than they do. I believe, whole heartedly, that in most cases, spoken or written words are more successful than the use of force. This is definitely the ideology behind my legislative beliefs, as I truly believe that informed policy and legislation have the power to make a positive impact on individuals, communities, states, countries, and even on a global level. I believe in the power of words. Written. Spoken. Thought. I think that they are our most powerful weapons in the fight against evil, hatred, and injustice.
But I’m going to add something to this, and apply this same principle: DIALOGUE.
What is dialogue?
What many people think about dialogue refers to the meaning of ‘dialogue’ as a noun, as the “conversation between two or more people as a feature of a book, play, or movie”. But what I’m referring to, is the meaning of ‘dialogue’ as a verb; "Dialogue is to take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem".
Why is dialogue so important?
The Global Partnership for the Prevention of Armed Conflict (GPPAC) states that “dialogue is one of the primary components within the broader definition of peacebuilding. The goal of dialogue is to develop joint approaches to conflict resolution, as well as improve relationships, understanding, and trust between individuals or groups in conflict with one another. Dialogue processes consist of bringing together [people] from across the conflict divide in order to develop an improved understanding of the concerns, interests, and needs of the other side.”
Author Scott London writes that “we speak at each other, or past each other. We speak different conceptual languages, hold different values, embody different ways of seeing the world. Much of the time, we're not even listening to each other at all. The dialogue is a monologue… The trouble with much of what passes for communication today is that it's all crosstalk. It's a din, not a dialogue.” He continues to write “The word dialogue is often contrasted with monologue, as if it were a two-way, rather than a one-way, process. But that's misleading. Dialogue is a contraction from the Greek words for through and words. It suggests an activity aimed at eliciting meaning.. That's what dialogue is: a form of discussion aimed at fostering mutual insight and common purpose. The process involves listening with empathy, searching for common ground, exploring new ideas and perspectives, and bringing unexamined assumptions into the open.”
London continues to state that “while dialogue is often confused with other forms of discourse, it belongs in a distinctive category of its own. Unlike debate, it doesn't involve arguing for a point of view, defending a set of assumptions, or critiquing the positions of others. Unlike negotiation or consensus-building, it's not a method of reaching agreement or arriving at decisions. And unlike discussion, it can only emerge when participants trust and respect each other, suspend their judgments, and listen deeply to all points of view.”
How is dialogue achieved?
London states the basic rules for facilitating a dialogue:
- The focus is on common interests, not divisive ones
- The dialogue and decision-making processes are separated
- Assumptions that can lead to distortions of certain points of view are clarified and brought into the open
- People are encouraged to reveal their own insights and assumptions before speculating on those of others
- Concrete examples are used to raise general issues
- The process focuses on conflicts between value systems, not people
- When appropriate, participants are encouraged to express emotions accompanying strongly held values
- Participants err on the side of including people who disagree
- They encourage relationships in order to humanize transactions
- They minimize the level of mistrust before pursuing practical objectives.
Dialogue is not easy. Especially when the topics are things we feel very strongly about. And in order to achieve this reality where people respect each other, suspend their judgments, and actively listen to all points of view, we have construct safe places, not just physically, but emotionally.
The GPPAC writes that “confidence building measures are a crucial component of a dialogue process. Confidence building measures are aimed at providing a safe and neutral space for parties to be able to engage with each other on issues related to a particular conflict. Confidence building measures are aimed at reducing tensions, creating mutual understanding and identifying entry points and channels for possible cooperation across conflict divides.”
The University of Missouri’s Inclusion, Diversity, and Equity department released a how-to document titled “Guide to Facilitating Dialogues”, which states that in order for a dialogue to be successful, participants need to:
1. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
2. Withhold judgements; when in doubt, ask.
3. Honor and share “airtime”.
4. Be respectful to others.
5. Listen actively and intentionally.
6. Speak from personal experience using “I” statements.
7. Ask “genuine questions” for understanding.
8. Respect Confidentiality.
9. Maintain an open mind about the process and content.
We need to be good listeners.
This is perhaps the toughest part of true dialogue. University of Missouri states that there are four types of listening: Appreciative listening (e.g. listening for pleasure or enjoyment), Empathic listening (e.g. listening to provide emotional support for the speaker), Comprehensive listening (e.g. listening to understand the message of the speaker), and Critical listening (e.g. listening to evaluate a message for purposes of accepting or rejecting it). In dialogue, it’s imperative that we engage in comprehensive listening. To become a better listener, we need to take listening seriously, resist distractions, refrain from speaking for others, focus our listening, and suspend judgement.
London believes that “when done well, the benefits can be extraordinary. Long-standing stereotypes can be dissolved, mistrust overcome, and visions shaped and grounded in a shared sense of purpose. People previously at odds with one another can come into alignment on objectives and strategies. New perspectives and insights can be gained, new levels of creativity stimulated, and bonds of community strengthened”.
So why am I talking about this on a feminist blog??
Well, hopefully the answer to this question has already buzzed to life in your mind. A main portion of my feminist ideology is my belief in the importance of dialogue to solve social issues. I think that a good majority of conflicts we currently have could be resolved with the facilitation of true dialogue. Again, I am not naive, so I understand that this is not an easy fete. Maybe most people would consider this a “pipe dream”. Yeah, that would be nice, but it’s not realistic. And I’d have to agree with those people, in the sense that right now, in our current culture, it isn’t realistic, because we do not currently know how to listen to each other. And respecting others, that’s another Everest to climb. But just because something isn’t realistic now, does that mean we just give up? Does that mean we just through our hands in the air and say, Whelp! Might as well go home, sit back on the couch, and tune out the ugliness of the world. I don’t accept that. I can’t accept that.
I can’t accept the world as it is, when I know it could be so much better, for everyone living in it. Just because something is hard, doesn’t make it any less worthwhile. To everyone except Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay, climbing Everest was unrealistic because no one had done it before. But with patience, drive, and tenacity, they became the first climbers to ever make it to the top of Mount Everest in 1953. Since then, more than 4,000 people have made it to the top. What was once an unrealistic pipe dream has now become reality for so many people, and that number only continues to grow. What is unconquerable is only unconquerable until it is conquered.
We can make true change. We, each of us individually and collectively, have real power. WE CAN MAKE AN IMPACT. By using our voices, by writing, by listening, we can make positive changes to our society.
The pen, the voice, the listening ears, are truly mightier than the sword.
References
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-30729480
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/pen-is-mightier-than-the-sword?q=the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-sword
http://www.scottlondon.com/articles/ondialogue.html
https://diversity.missouri.edu/education/handouts/facilitating-dialogue.pdf
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